nocts | Game Inbox

[ it feels like something they shouldn't be talking about. prompto, of course, had always heard stories growing up, and it's something that every lucian would have known about at one point or another. bedtime stories, things of legend and myth. not something that's supposed to really happen. and to noct. of everything, how is it fair? and that's what he wants to say.

how is it fair? ]

You didn't think I could handle it? [ the words come out before he can stop them, and even then, he immediately regrets it. if noct catches the look on his face, there's a spark of sadness that reaches so far down that prompto isn't sure it's ever going to leave him. ] Or, I dunno, you thought you had to do it on your own? [ for the first time, he doesn't get what noct's thinking. ] I just... I thought we were a team. I thought we were gonna stick by each other no matter what. I thought —

[ prompto shakes his head again, rubbing at his face and pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes to keep the tears from escaping. they're there, just at the edges, and he really, really, really, really, really doesn't want to cry in front of noct. ]

There's gotta be another way. [ the hope he scrambles to hold onto feels frayed, but he's desperate for anything. for something. he doesn't want to imagine what a world without noct in it would be like. his voice cracks. ] We'll figure it out. We always do, right?

Of course not! I know you can- could- I just-- the things that happened to you-! I wanted to grant you a least shred of happiness!

All I did is make you suffer! [He's raised his voice, not at Prompto but at himself, anger and guilt just rolling up into one huge ball that's choking him.]

I-- I end up pushing you off the train because Ardyn tricked me! You end up in Zegnautus Keep, kidnapped by him BECAUSE OF ME! I just wanted you to be happy damn it! [Noctis slams hands on the table violently, it resonates on the empty beach. They curl into fists again as he shakes his head...]

...No...there is no way out... [he chokes back a sob] ...at least, I don't know of one...

[ this is all very new to him. he doesn't know where all of this is coming from, and he wants it to stop. he wants to take back ever asking noct to come meet him so that he doesn't have to listen to this. he wants to pretend everything is fine. except... noct is so worked up, and it's doing something to him as well. he fidgets where he stands, jerking a little when noct hits the table. ]

Noct... [ he opens his mouth, tries to close it. the tears he'd been forcing back burn even more, but he's determined to keep as much composure as he can because he thinks noct needs this more than he does. ] I don't know what you're talking about. Is this... is this something that happens in the future? Like – [ he bites at his lip. ] I dunno. Even if, uh, when that stuff happens, I'm not gonna blame you for it. How could I? [ is that fair of him to say? he's so confused, and the fact he's bringing up Ardyn doesn't sit well with him either. ] You're my best friend. You'd never let anything happen to me if you could help it, and I wouldn't let anything happen to you. Okay?

We can, we can figure this out. Somehow...

[ maybe he's just grasping at straws? it's a struggle considering, and more than anything, he's not worried about himself. he's worried about noct. he doesn't want anything bad to ever happen to him. he doesn't want him to die. ]

[Noctis pulls away from the table, any and all fight bleeding out of him like when hot air balloon gets popped. There has been so much guilt welling up inside of him that he didn't know what to do with it.]

S...Sorry... I shouldn't have snapped like this. It's just, I don't want you to think I didn't tell you because I don't trust you or something stupid like that.

I'm... [he shakes his head,] I'm just a coward.

[He's been staring at some random spot on Prompto's shirt before finally raising his eyes to his face.]

And I'm- I'm sorry but, there's nothing we can do about the... the prophecy. It's the- it's the price needed to be paid to clear the world of daemons and darkness.

[There's a bit of the pause, where only small waves are the sound.]

And I'm willing to pay it. To keep all of you safe.

[ there's a lot he needs to wrap his head around, but that? no way. that's something he can't accept, and maybe that makes him completely and utterly selfish or just too stupid to realize how important noct is to eos. ]

How can you say that?

[ the words feel thick in his mouth, and never mind the tears. he's starting to get frustrated now, fingers curling at his sides as he stares back at him. prompto searches noct's face for a second or two, trying to figure it all out, but every time he thinks he might have it, it just slips away from him. all the emotion he'd buried before this had all started rises to the surface, a flush crawling up his neck. ]

How can you just say that without trying to change it? What if there's a better way? What if... I dunno, Noct. There has to be something else. There's always something else. [ because that's what happens in video games, right? even if this isn't a video game, it doesn't matter. it should still count. and his heart is going to beat right out of his chest, he just knows it. everything hurts, and he grits his teeth. ] I don't want you to die.

[His chest hurts with every word and question that leaves Prompto's mouth. He can't explain it better than this- there is actually no other way to explain it.]

You... you think I don't want that? [His fingers curl into the shirt atop of his stomach.] You think... I really want to leave you all? Do you think I wouldn't go after it if I knew how to do it?!

It's... it's too late for that Prom. The world was already slipping into darkness, slowly, after Luna's death. We didn't know the entire way of it, no one told us so we didn't search for alternatives. If there were any, to begin with.

[Prompto has every right to be angry with him. He could - SHOULD - yell at him if he wants to. He takes a tentative step forward, desperately wanting to do something, anything to erase that pain he sees on Prompto's face.]

[ shit. this is bad. this is bad, and noct has to know it's bad too. if this had been any other moment, maybe he would have just given up and told noct he would be at his side no matter what. and he is, he always will be, but being here, being around all of these other people from places he could only ever dream of... there's no way this is how their lives are going to play out, that they just have to accept it. ]

I don't know what to think. None of this makes any sense! [ there's a sharp crack in his voice, and he shakes his head in an attempt to brush it off. yet, this time, it doesn't seem to work. ] Especially not the part where you're just okay with dying because some– some prophecy says you should. [ he tries to stand his ground for as long as he's able, but he ends up taking a step back, his face red and his vision blurring as the tears well. ] What if that's why we're here. What if something else brought us here to give us more time? To–to really figure it out. That has to mean something. It has to. [ and the tears start, hot as they roll down his cheeks. ] It just has to...

[ or else, it would all be meaningless, and everything they have wouldn't have mattered either. ]

Edited 2019-04-22 04:33 (UTC)

[Prompto took a step back away from him. That's- that just makes Noctis freeze in his tracks, feeling as if he's standing back on the train, thinking he's chasing after Ardyn but actually making run for Prompto. To- to-

He violently shakes his head to get the vision out and tries to focus on him-]

I am not okay with it! But what am I supposed to do!? This place- to offer us a solution? They don't give a damn about us! They never did!

Back home- I'm out of time... When I exit the Crystal, I will finish what- what was asked of me. I know it's hard- impossible to believe it but- you guys gave everything for me. And if my life can save the three of you, including the rest of Eos, then I will do it.

You can hate me for this decision, but I will always choose to save you over me.

[ you're supposed to stand with me too.

it bubbles up in the back of his mind, right at the tip of his tongue, but he's just angry through the tears that burn his face. he can taste them too, the bitterness and the sadness and just... everything. all of it. he doesn't know what he's supposed to do because noct isn't listening to him, and prompto knows he's stubborn. hell, he's known that all his life, and it's one of the things he loves about noct. but he shouldn't be fighting so hard to accept this. ]

I don't know! That's why I said we've gotta figure it out. We've gotta do something that's not just being okay with it! [ he might not be yelling, but it's close. his voice keeps wavering, a hint of tears, and before he realizes it, he's up close in noct's personal space, reaching out to grip his shirt. the contact usually helps, but right now... ] So stop saying all that stuff, Noct. I don't want you to die for me. Maybe the rest of 'em are okay with it, and maybe they're just gonna accept it. But I'm not – [ he can't breathe because the pressure in his chest is cracking his ribs. ] I'm not worth your life. I'm not.

I need you to take it back. [ he sucks in a breath, and there's that soft wet sniffle that comes with it. ] Please...

[Noctis has never been an optimist. He wasn't really raised to be one. Just to accept the facts and push onward, taking on whatever comes his way.

His eyes flare up, still stinging and he can feel tears slid down his cheeks- and damn it all they are both too stubborn sometimes but he doesn't want to hear THAT ever leave Prompto's mouth again. His fingers curl into the front of Prompto's shirt as well, now a small bubble of anger in his voice-]

You can tell me whatever you want, you can punch me and knock me out this instant. But don't every, ever you are not worth it! Because you ARE! You ARE worth it- worth every drop of sweat, tear and blood! [He's breathing heavily and his chest finally cracks and lets Noctis let out a choked sob-

And he shakes his head. He can't take it back. His head lowers, forehead resting right under Prompto's chin and another sob shakes his body-]

S-Sorry... I'm so sorry Prom... I can't...

[ this is it. this is how things get ruined.

prompto had never thought this would happen to them. he'd never thought this would be them in a thousand lifetimes. he can't shake the feeling that overtakes him as noct sobs and apologizes and refuses to give him what he wants, and it's like hitting the nail on the head of the last one in the coffin. he's starting to hyperventilate, glad that there's no one around to see this and even more glad to hear the rush of the waves around them. but it's too loud, and he's terrified. he's so scared, and he's shaking, his fingers squeezing the fabric of noct's shirt so hard that his knuckles are white.

what does he do? he tries to search noct's face, but he can't see it from the way he's got his head lowered. what should he do? he's trapped. he can't. he needs to just go.

prompto loosens his grip for only a fraction of a second, and then, he's shoving noct away. he's pushing him back with enough force to leave them both unsteady, and the tremor that overtakes him is full-bodied, panting and crying and unable to understand what's happening. ]

I'm sorry. [ shit. this is so fucked up. he's never been this scared of anything in his life, and for a split second, he grabs at his wrist and digs his fingers into the barcode covered over by his wristband until the pain is greater than the heavy pound of his chest. ] I'm sorry.

[ and because he's out of options, he just turns and starts to run without another word. ]

Game Inbox - Duplicity

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